Five Items

I have never been tagged to do a meme before. (At least not that I know of.) I always said that if I were tagged, I’d never be able to say no.

I couldn’t say no for the same reasons that I can’t say no to the guy on the subway who comes to me, literally crying, with real tears, “Please help, I’m HUNGRY!” and that I can’t say no to the little girl who is counting out pennies on the floor to see if she has enough to buy a baseball program. I always tell that little girl, “Don’t worry. Eighty-six cents is enough. Here you go.”

It is the same with donuts. I can’t say no to a donut.

And so marks the end of an era. I have been tagged with a meme. And so as not to disappoint my faithful following, I feel I must comply. And I do so with dignity and honor, as well as with gratitude to AnnieElf, for successfully breaking the meme seal over here at this little Blogspot.

This is the Five Items meme.

Five items in my fridge:

  • Pickled pot roast, with a dried mashed potato crust.
  • Two tails of a speckled newt, dried.
  • Little flecks of fairy dust that fell off my wand over the weekend.
  • 14 bottles of Heinz ketchup, because you never know when you might run out.
  • Beer. Lots and lots of beer.

Five items in my closet:

  • A cute family of dust bunnies, reproducing rapidly.
  • A skeleton. Seriously. OK, maybe not. I’ll let you decide.
  • Donuts. Lots and lots of donuts.
  • 50,215 4×6 photos of Mike Mussina in varying degrees of wetness.
  • Approximately $27 in spare change located inside the pockets of various jackets.

Five items in my (subway) car:

  • The sticker that tells me I can lose weight NOW (by dying).
  • 93 people listening to music through headphones while apparently asleep. Standing up.
  • A used pink plastic spoon from Baskin Robbins.
  • Two girls about to start bitch slapping each other.
  • A three-piece mariachi band.

Five items in my purse:

  • My wand, for whimsically spreading fairy dust.
  • £4.62 in change, in case I find myself in London and need to buy a pint.
  • Mel Gibson’s home telephone number, for late night prank phone calls.
  • The key to the city.
  • Two tickets to paradise. (Pack your bags, we’ll leave tonight…)

Five people who are tagged:

Not to deny anyone the pleasure, but I just can’t bring myself to tag anyone. Feel free to jack this meme for yourself at any time. Tell ‘em the Caitlinator sent you.

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