Knowing that I am going back to school full-time this fall has forced me in a very short time to take an inventory of what I’ve got and what I’m going to need over the next few months and years. I am giving up my steady, reliable job for something that is still hazy and ambiguous to me. I feel like what I thought was concrete below my feet yesterday is actually water and I don’t know if I remember how to swim from shore to shore. I’m not sure if I’ve actually got the endurance I need to survive. And if I start to drown, will someone come out to rescue me?
But this is not my point.
My point is that I’ve been forced to take inventory of what I’ve got to help me survive the next months and years of my life. Because let’s face it. It might FEEL like I’ve got nothing and that I’m doomed to live under a park bench for the rest of my life, but I’ve got a little more at my disposal than an empty shopping cart and some bottles for deposit.
For instance, I am not responsible to pay the cable bill in my home. And while I don’t much enjoy watching television, the cable service we have comes with music. And one of the music stations we get plays all ‘80s music all the time. And that is a relief in itself. All the Richard Marx I could ever want right here at my fingertips.
For another example, I also am not responsible to pay for our Netflix subscription. So as long as I continue to pay the electric and my half of the rent bills, I can rent all the “Knight Rider” episodes my little heart craves. So when the going gets tough, I can call in the cavalry – KITT – and that is reassuring as well.
Aside from those two very important things, I’ve also got really great handwriting. If you happen to know anyone who’s getting married or needs someone to write threatening anonymous letters to their exes, please keep me in mind. I do envelopes, gift cards, place cards, recipe cards, and anything else imaginable, and I work for peanuts. (If the going gets rough enough, I might actually mean that literally.)
I can also cook. So if you want a really good apple pie or some homemade chocolate chip cookies or specially-frosted cupcakes or even chocolate liqueur truffles, I’m your woman.
So you see, (Caitlin)? You’re not totally helpless out here on the brink of entering the ocean.
When all else fails, I know that I have the love and support of the man that I love as well as all the friends I have around me. And that… that is enough to give me the courage to dive in and take the plunge. Who knows what awaits me on the other side?