Some Things Don’t Change

My whole life is in flux. Nothing is familiar any more. Today I actually found myself craving the four walls of my cubicle because they were familiar. But even my own office space, a space I have made my own for the past three years, is beginning to look unfamiliar. Every day I take home another piece and every day it looks a bit sparser. Slowly, I feel myself unwinding. Unwinding on the outside, curling up tightly on the inside. For me, change has always equaled fear.

Logically, I know that the changes I am undergoing are necessary and good. I understand that it is only unfamiliar for a short time. But right now, I feel lost and insecure and confused and overwhelmed. Every day I have a headache. I am tired by 4pm. I wonder how everything will come together. I wonder what impressions I am making and try to make sense of the impressions that are made on me.

At least, in all this confusion, the Yankees are kicking some Red Sox ass. At least there is that.


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