Some Things Don’t Change

My whole life is in flux. Nothing is familiar any more. Today I actually found myself craving the four walls of my cubicle because they were familiar. But even my own office space, a space I have made my own for the past three years, is beginning to look unfamiliar. Every day I take home another piece and every day it looks a bit sparser. Slowly, I feel myself unwinding. Unwinding on the outside, curling up tightly on the inside. For me, change has always equaled fear.

Logically, I know that the changes I am undergoing are necessary and good. I understand that it is only unfamiliar for a short time. But right now, I feel lost and insecure and confused and overwhelmed. Every day I have a headache. I am tired by 4pm. I wonder how everything will come together. I wonder what impressions I am making and try to make sense of the impressions that are made on me.

At least, in all this confusion, the Yankees are kicking some Red Sox ass. At least there is that.

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3 responses to “Some Things Don’t Change

  • kat

    sometimes the key is to just hold on to the familiar things that aren’t changing. like the yankees kicking the sox’s ass.

  • Karen

    The last days at work before you leave are always really weird. Then it takes two weeks before the new situation becomes familiar and vaguely comfortable. At least you can be sure that the passage of time will automatically take care of things. (Speaking as someone who’s seen quite a bit of time pass…)

  • eclectic

    Transition is always difficult it seems. I’m excited for the changes in store for you, though.

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