Bring It On

I’ve turned a corner in the last few days. I think. The reason I think so is because my eye only twitches occasionally now, instead of constantly, the way it had been doing as recently as Monday.

I enrolled in a health care plan that will take effect September 1. It is expensive. I will not have prescription coverage. So please cross your fingers with me in hoping that if I do get sick or run over by a bus that I don’t require any drugs to regain my health. And that it happens after September 1. Thanks.

I managed to pay my tuition bill. With some luck and a little ingenuity, I should be able to transfer the balance I charged to my current credit card to a new credit card with no interest for a year. I think I can handle that.

I think I might be able to qualify for forbearance on my current student loan debts. It shouldn’t be too hard; I don’t actually have a job currently. I’d say that qualifies as “financial hardship.”

I have labeled myself a “freelancer.” I will freelance doing pretty much anything. In fact, I’ve gotten two almost-solid offers from my current company for temporary positions that will work around my schedule. And I will work at Starbucks if I have to. Or Home Depot. And did I mention I babysit? And I hand-write wedding invitations? And make note cards? And bake? Seriously, if you know anyone in the New York area who’s looking for any of those services, let me know. Or pass along my e-mail address (Caitlinator at gmail dot com).

I have decided that whatever happens, if I fall flat on my face and end up destitute on the street, I can always come back to the corporate world and start again. But if I don’t take these chances I am taking right now, I will spend my life always wondering, “What if I had taken that risk back when I had the chance?” I don’t want a life full of “what ifs.” And if taking risks like not knowing from where my next paycheck will come is the only way to avoid that, well, then so be it.

For the first time, I feel ready. Bring it on.

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