Bring It On

I’ve turned a corner in the last few days. I think. The reason I think so is because my eye only twitches occasionally now, instead of constantly, the way it had been doing as recently as Monday.

I enrolled in a health care plan that will take effect September 1. It is expensive. I will not have prescription coverage. So please cross your fingers with me in hoping that if I do get sick or run over by a bus that I don’t require any drugs to regain my health. And that it happens after September 1. Thanks.

I managed to pay my tuition bill. With some luck and a little ingenuity, I should be able to transfer the balance I charged to my current credit card to a new credit card with no interest for a year. I think I can handle that.

I think I might be able to qualify for forbearance on my current student loan debts. It shouldn’t be too hard; I don’t actually have a job currently. I’d say that qualifies as “financial hardship.”

I have labeled myself a “freelancer.” I will freelance doing pretty much anything. In fact, I’ve gotten two almost-solid offers from my current company for temporary positions that will work around my schedule. And I will work at Starbucks if I have to. Or Home Depot. And did I mention I babysit? And I hand-write wedding invitations? And make note cards? And bake? Seriously, if you know anyone in the New York area who’s looking for any of those services, let me know. Or pass along my e-mail address (Caitlinator at gmail dot com).

I have decided that whatever happens, if I fall flat on my face and end up destitute on the street, I can always come back to the corporate world and start again. But if I don’t take these chances I am taking right now, I will spend my life always wondering, “What if I had taken that risk back when I had the chance?” I don’t want a life full of “what ifs.” And if taking risks like not knowing from where my next paycheck will come is the only way to avoid that, well, then so be it.

For the first time, I feel ready. Bring it on.

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5 responses to “Bring It On

  • fiction dept

    Congratulations on all of that but especially on your thought process. Your plight seems so familiar to me — think: December 2004. I, too, do not want to live a life full of ‘what ifs’. I’m so glad that I took the risk, left the secure but uninspiring job at Telecom to go into the theatre world. And although I’m back working at Telecom again, I believe that I’m here on my own terms this time, doing work that I enjoy doing, that provides me with most of the things I want/need in a job right now (opportunity to be creative, flexibility in work hours, independence & responsibility, chance to make my mark, financial return) at this point in my life.

    Well done, Caitlin!

  • alissa

    Don’t worry too much about the prescription coverage. I haven’t had it for years and I’ve learned that if you talk to your doctors, they’re pretty much always understanding and will either prescribe a generic brand or will give you samples. My Gyno once gave me a years worth of the pill in samples! It never hurts to ask!

    Good luck on this new life you’ve chosen! I have confidence everything will fall perfectly into place for you and you’ll be happier than ever.

  • eclectic

    THAT’s wha’um talkin’bout!!! Reach now and don’t look back. Just having the guts to take the risk will open up a whole new world to you. And did I see that you might make it to TC’07?? COOL! Would love to meet you!

  • the Caitlinator

    I’ll be saving my pennies in my little piggy-bank. Who knows where March will take me? Would love to meet you, too!

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