My life has been sheer insanity lately. I think I might have mentioned that once or twice to one or two people.
I’ve had to give up a lot in the name of “sanity.” Today was my last outing as a big sister through Big Brothers Big Sisters. I’ve been matched with Jada for the last four years and I’ve been a big sister since 2002. I’m going to miss it, but it was becoming unfair to us both to try to keep going. I’m hoping that once I graduate and get settled again I’ll be able to join up again, because it is rewarding work and I really do love watching my little sister grow up, and helping her while she’s at it.
Also, the half-marathon I’m training for… I’ve had to put the training on the back burner. I’m kind of worried that I’ll end up embarrassing myself on race day, but right now I just can’t be running seven miles at a clip EVERY weekend. And five miles on weeknights. Right now I can barely keep my eyes open.
I’m trying not to feel like a failure. I’m trying not to feel like I’m giving up on my goals. But I have to be honest. I’m so tired that it’s hard to think straight any more and mostly these days I’ve just wanted to curl up into a ball with a box of donuts and a 30-hour marathon of “Scrubs.”