Sometimes a Standpipe is Really a Penis.

Lately I’m confronted with the fact that I’ve become That Person who never has time for her friends or family, and it leaves me feeling shallow and empty inside. What kind of person fills their life with obligations that only rarely include the people they love?

Today at a friend’s wedding shower, I noticed myself missing from shared photographs, in part because I never found the time to contribute them, but also in part because I never found the time to be there. So much time had passed since my friends and I had seen each other that we were forced into conversational generalities that left me feeling emotionally left out. Not necessarily by them, but by my own guilt over the fact that I had no idea who I was talking to any more.

When did it stop being easy to be myself around them?

Today I kept looking at this standpipe outside the restaurant, jutting out at an unusual angle. I kept thinking how much it resembled The World’s Most Largest Penis Ever, an observation I would have shared freely at another time but instead kept to myself, a withering reminder of who we once were together and how far and fast we have seemed to drift apart, and that it has probably all been my own doing from the start.

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6 responses to “Sometimes a Standpipe is Really a Penis.

  • Sonal

    You could have totally shared that with me.. I would have had a kick out of it as tired as I was…. You were in the OBX pic…. lets figure out a time to see that movie even if its a monday.

  • Sonal

    You could have totally shared that with me.. I would have had a kick out of it as tired as I was…. You were in the OBX pic…. lets figure out a time to see that movie even if its a monday.

  • Bryan

    Life happens. I realized something similar when I was about your age (not that I’m that much older than you are: at 38). The thing is I think is that it stops being easy to be ourselves around “old” friends, because we are not the same people we were then and sometimes maybe it’s hard for us to accept who we are now as compared to then or who we are in the process of becoming. I think we just have to accept ourselves as we are and what we are becoming, and still connect with our friends on that basis….

    Also aside from the philosophical mumbo jumbo, it’s great that you have a friend like Sonal that would want to reconnect with you for a movie, even if it’s on a Monday. Hang on to her. 🙂

  • Bryan

    Life happens. I realized something similar when I was about your age (not that I’m that much older than you are: at 38). The thing is I think is that it stops being easy to be ourselves around “old” friends, because we are not the same people we were then and sometimes maybe it’s hard for us to accept who we are now as compared to then or who we are in the process of becoming. I think we just have to accept ourselves as we are and what we are becoming, and still connect with our friends on that basis….

    Also aside from the philosophical mumbo jumbo, it’s great that you have a friend like Sonal that would want to reconnect with you for a movie, even if it’s on a Monday. Hang on to her. 🙂

  • Kimberly

    As I get older I am learning that there are ‘seasons’ in friendship, that people who were immensely critical to us in one phase of life are less so in another. I too have felt guilty for not keeping up with certain friends, doing a lot of other things, but I realize that they too have moved on and immersed themselves in other interests. Core groups remain, but there is an ebb and flow that, while sad, is natural. We’re coming back around to that point where very old friends are coming back into our lives, so the tide does come back in!
    (I’m the trail running fool’s wife, by the way.)

  • Kimberly

    As I get older I am learning that there are ‘seasons’ in friendship, that people who were immensely critical to us in one phase of life are less so in another. I too have felt guilty for not keeping up with certain friends, doing a lot of other things, but I realize that they too have moved on and immersed themselves in other interests. Core groups remain, but there is an ebb and flow that, while sad, is natural. We’re coming back around to that point where very old friends are coming back into our lives, so the tide does come back in!
    (I’m the trail running fool’s wife, by the way.)

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