Wednesday night I hit a boiling point. I found myself on all fours in the bedroom, sobbing hysterically. It was like all the stresses of the last several weeks all bubbled up and had nowhere else to go and I couldn’t hold it back any more. To top it all off, in a fit of rage, I had thrown my watch as hard as I could onto the floor and was sure I had broken it. Billy gave me that watch, and that was the tipping point.
I was trying to sob quietly, but when you get going it’s impossible to hold it back any more. Before I was aware he was in the room, I felt Billy’s hand on my back. I realized he was kneeling on all fours next to me while I heaved and sobbed. He didn’t ask what was wrong, didn’t tell me it would be all right. He just knelt there next to me, rubbing my back.
All of that anxiety that had nowhere else to go either came out in tears onto the floor or got soaked up in Billy’s touch. My watch may have broken, but I still had the better gift in Billy himself.