Anatomy of an Art History Paper

11:47am: Typed up cover page of my art history paper, due last Thursday.
11:55am: Organized playlist for a gift CD.
12:09pm: Researched Chicago-style citation.
12:17pm: Wrote the first sentence of my paper.
12:19pm: Finished burning CD’s.
12:32pm: Finished writing first paragraph of paper.
12:36pm: Made lunch.
1:08pm: Made first citation in paper.
1:13pm: Got a drink of water.
2:15pm: Rewrote first paragraph entirely.
2:50pm: Finish watching the Rousseau video I got from the library last week.
3:11pm: Second paragraph completed.
3:16pm: Decide that when I give birth to my first child I will look upon the experience of writing this paper and think that those contractions? They’re not actually so bad.
3:33pm: Finish writing the third paragraph, and in effect, page one.
4:06pm: Fourth paragraph done – I’m on a roll!
4:21pm: Incessant car alarm disrupts concentration; get more water and a granola bar.
5:01pm: Just remembered there are NCAA games on right now. Turned on the TV.
5:15pm: 3 1/2 pages in, the end is in sight.
5:16pm: Fuck Kansas. Go Davidson.
5:17pm: Stopped staring into space and got back to work.
5:21pm: Finished taking pictures of my research-covered desk.
5:34pm: First draft is completed! Consider turning it in without proofreading even once.
5:54pm: Finished typing up bibliography.
5:55pm: Decide to take 10 minutes to recover before rereading draft.
5:57pm: Realize my 10-minute break is going to coincide with half-time and get disgusted.
5:59pm: Print copy #1 of paper.
6:05pm: Repulsed by my own B.O., decide putting on clean underwear and deodorant might be a good idea after all.
6:31pm: Finish reading first draft and begin incorporating revisions. Realize the first draft is actually not bad!
6:32pm: Get pissed that the basketball game I am missing is the closest one of the entire goddamn tournament.
6:38pm: Draft #2 completed.
6:49pm: After a third read-through and quick revisions, decide the paper is FINISHED.
6:49:37pm: Contemplate ways to celebrate, trying not to think about all the other stuff that didn’t get done today. Things like, the paper that is due in tomorrow morning’s American history class, or the laundry, or food shopping.
6:50pm: Decide, fuck it all, and have a shot of Sambuca to celebrate.

Giddy-up, Cowboy.

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