The Things I Learn at School

Yesterday in class I had one of those moments where I realized that I am not in fact a 28-year-old adult but actually a 14-year-old pubescent turd who finds the bathroom humor in everything.

We’re going through slides of different pop art examples and I’m sitting there diligently taking notes, until suddenly, out of nowhere, up pops Jasper Johns’ Painting with Two Balls. And that was the precise moment when I became half my age and I had to repress a snicker as I envisioned Jasper Johns actually painting with his balls (anatomically speaking, that is). I actually wrote down in my notes, “I am SO juvenile! PFFFT!”

And I was feeling all happy, enjoying my private joke, when my professor brought up the fact that Johns actually intended that sort of interpretation. Dude. When art critics start thinking with their balls instead of their brains, they go and take all the fun out of it.


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