Things that are Better than Writing a Final Exam about Early American History:

1. Poking at my eyeballs with an ice pick.
2. Throwing spitballs at the ceiling.
3. Flinging rubber bands across the room at Billy’s head.
4. Tearing my hair out, one single hair at a time.
5. Eating burnt cheesecake.
6. Listening to the entire Secret Garden soundtrack on repeat for two hours.
7. Picking at my cuticles until they bleed.
8. Devising a plan for the takeover of humanity everywhere.
9. Writing stupid blog posts so as to spread my misery among millions.

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