Lifeline.

Lately I haven’t felt much like myself. I haven’t quite been Down in the Dumps, but I haven’t been walking on air, either. This has prevented me from wanting to write.

But oh, have I had things to write about. Like when I lost my passport last week. And my marriage certificate. And the application for a new passport that included all of my personal information – name, address, maiden name, social security number, telephone number, mother’s maiden name, etc. And oh yeah, my bank account number for good measure.

There have been happier stories I haven’t told, too. Like how I went for a rather spontaneous hike up in the Shawangunks on July 4 with Siggi, Brett, and Siggi’s dad, Jim. Despite the cold and fog, that was eight miles of true contentment. I miss nature.

And of course I have not yet followed up on the construction of my pinewood derby car, or even bothered to reveal the final results of the race this past weekend.

I haven’t been able to put my finger on just what it is that has had me teetering on the edge of depression these last several weeks (okay, months). I’m starting to think that maybe the whys and wherefores of it all are really not important. What’s important is that I find my way out of this maze before I get too stuck in it. I’ve been mired in that muck before and let’s just say it’s not a place on many tourist maps for a reason.

Today, in an effort to pull my listless ass out of this whatever-you-want-to-call-it (shall we call it James?), I signed up for an orientation session with New York Cares on Thursday evening. I figure if I can’t do myself some good, at least I can make a difference in someone else’s life. Maybe the goodwill will rub off on me a little in the process.

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