Today was one of those days that proves no matter what I accomplish, I will always be disappointed in myself. This makes me sad. It makes me want to jump out of the window of a very tall building. Or walk around in a lightning storm with a large metal pole. I had the opportunity for the latter today, minus the large metal pole. Sigh. It’s always something.
Rather than get into all the details, which are really kind of private and really not meant for the internet, suffice it to say that “perfectionism” is the key word, and that I have a lot to learn in the way of lightening the fuck up already. This is a recurring theme in my life, I think.
I can’t stop berating myself because I am not as good at swimming as Michael Phelps. And because I don’t have a successful business like Bill Gates. And I don’t have the brain for politics like Bill Clinton. And I can’t run a 5-minute mile and finish a marathon in under two hours like those Kenyan runners. If I hold myself up to these standards for my whole life, it is no wonder that I can never get anywhere.
Maybe I ought to try starting with a good night’s sleep.