Low low low.

This is probably the crappiest photo I’ve ever posted. I don’t care. It’s the crappiest I’ve felt in a really long time.

I’ve been trying not to complain about it, trying to let positive! thoughts! make! me! happy! but it’s not really working. I’m slipping into an old pattern, one that really doesn’t work but one that I have a really hard time finding my way out of. I keep thinking I’ve found the door, and then I slam my head on the wall.

I could blame circumstances around me, and there’d be some logic to it. But truthfully, this feeling always seems to hover around in the background. It’s just that some days I can shush it and other days it feels like a hairy monster sitting on my face. Today – and this month – has been a hairy monster day.

I think I should call him Gustave. Because if there’s going to be a hairy monster sitting on my face all day long, we should at least be on a first name basis.


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