About the Caitlinator

I am Caitlin Ann Heller von Regan-schnitzel, also known as the Caitlinator, known to most of the rest of the world as simply as Caitlin, or “that girl.” I am known to reside in New York City somewhere, possibly Queens, possibly Riverside Avenue, who can really tell the difference anyway? I’ve been on this earth for some 30-odd years, but really only the last three months have been on purpose. I work in a legal office doing legal things (mostly) and although my heart’s really in artistic self-expression and working with kids, I actually find I kind of like reading fine print for a living. Someone’s got to do it, right? May as well be me.

I live with my husband, Billy, and although we have no children, we have a dozen plants at which we coddle and coo daily. We also have dust bunnies. We prefer to sweep those under the rug. Unfortunately we have no rugs.

Although technically a city girl, I’m really a country girl at heart. I love gazing at stars and listening to katydids at night. I love getting my knees muddy and dirt under my fingernails. I love the taste of freshly made strawberry jam from the strawberries the birds haven’t eaten from the garden out back (that we also don’t have). I’m a bit of a computer geek but not so much that I’d rather sit in front of my iMac than go outside and play. I stink at sports but love being active. I aim to complete a marathon someday, although it’s somewhat against my doctors’ advice. I like to ignore stupid advice.

I like books and movies but despise television. Except if Donald Draper is involved. Or the Yankees. Then I like TV. I used to work for a major television network. I was the only one who never heard of the shows we were promoting. I’ve recently discovered NPR and although I also despise news media, I do enjoy listening to Click and Clack and All Songs Considered. I like to pretend I am a music snob but really I will listen to anything and probably like it. Unless it’s country music, in which case I’ll just pretend to like it so nobody thinks I’m an asshole.

People say I’m crafty. I guess it’s true. I love taking pictures. I think I’m kind of good at it, but I’m not inclined to make a living at it. I love to knit. I like to draw, but really my strength is in my crazy perfect handwriting. I haven’t figured out how to turn that into a million-dollar profession yet, so for now I just dazzle unsuspecting birthday card readers with it and blush when they admire the perfect font-like letters. Other useless talents I have: I can sing and play the piano pretty well, but I can’t do them both at the same time. I can also play one half of one song on the guitar. Sometimes.

I dream one day of living in a house with a wraparound porch, not far from the ocean, with acres of gardens surrounding it. I envision having a porch swing and a barbecue out back with a large deck for eating dinners at sunset, and a dog. Lots of bedrooms for guests and office work and big family get-togethers. A place to watch thunderstorms roll in over the horizon.

I write here about things that tickle my fancy. It’s not much, but welcome. Pull up a chair and stay a while. Have some cherry cobbler.


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